100 Trillion Dollars

When I first received my 100 Trillion Dollars (Excellent shipping by the way, the postman was delicious) I imagined myself the ruler of my own island kingdom with hundreds of servants laying gold at my feet and catering to my every whim. Imagine my surprise when I realized that by the time this fortune made it to my door, all I could use it for was to buy some tin-pot dictatorship in the middle of nowhere who's only gross domestic products were based on dust and wild animal feces. And forget the servants! Best I could manage on such a paltry sum is to hire a local drunk to occasionally fetch water and some form of animal jerky of questionable date and origin. I guess inflation isn't just for Americans anymore.

I was skeptical at first. But now I own Victoria Falls. The days of colonialism are back!